I've lived alongside Adobe Creek for 26 years and never once had the poor decision-making skills needed to try to float down it in a raft, until today. Given that there is a lack of literature available on how to do this, I thought I would share some advice:
- Make sure you have caps for all of the valves in your raft. Barring that, have an extra sock handy.
- Even though the bushes have no blackberries this time of year, they still have thorns. Wear a rainjacket and long pants, and don't cry if your raft pops. (Thanks to Arcia Dorosti, a pioneer in this field, for notifying us of that one ahead of time). You will also want to bring a paddle in order to deflect thorns.
- Do not attempt to ride in a 210-pound-capacity raft along with a 235-pound Mormon, even if you did win the raft at Grad Nite eight years ago.
- Put in towards the downstream end of Shoup Park rather than at Redwood Grove, unless you don't mind the the embarrassment of getting stuck on a dam in front of dozens of little kids who will warn you about the big scary dog downstream (urban myth by the way: parents have warned of a "big scary dog" downstream from the park for years, but I've never met anyone who has seen one there).
- Shower twice. Once for the poison oak and another time for the raw sewage . The order is up to you.
- Always ride headfirst.
- And, most importantly, never admit what a failure the idea was. If you can not ignore that fact, at least try to hide it from your grandmother.
4 comments:
Is this some way of celebrating your birthday?
Yeah, let's go with that.
So there was a Jew, a Mormon, and a half-Indian floating down a creek...
I wish I could come up with a good joke about it.
-Sigua
All right Sig, you asked for it. The first ever Nemesis of Evil Eskimo-friendly punchline contest. Kind of like a lowbrow version of the New Yorker's reader captions.
So, go ahead, best punchline wins Joc's five bucks, or perhaps something cooler.
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