Front-page news from my hometown of Pleasantville:
A rumored illness caused by pet food has affected unknown numbers of pets, but none in Los Altos.
Got that? Something may have happened somewhere else, but not in Los Altos. This could be the start of a great series: Things that are not happening in Los Altos. Send your ideas to email@example.com.
For true lack of perspective, see the San Jose Mercury's Web site, where the top story compares the Warriors making the playoffs as the last seed to victory over the Axis in World War II.