Sad news for the reality-based community

The once great San Jose Mercury News is surreptitiously trying to poll readers on how it should destroy itself. I suppose it's better to do these things intentionally and all at once, but that hardly makes ideas like naming the sections of the paper Live, Play and Innovate or scrapping every section but Business any less tragicomic.

If they are having trouble figuring out how to support their operation, they should call Bob Novak, who somehow manages to get paid for columns like the one he wrote this weekend. It consisted of a claim that some anonymous had told Novak that some another anonymous person or people had told him that anonymous people who work for the Clinton campaign had some unknown information about Obama but weren't telling anybody what it was. I can't imagine any other profession in which you could turn out that kind of work product and still keep your job.

Or if that fails, maybe they should take the advice of my former boss and try to "make it not suck."

Dinner with Mike Gravel

I know who I am voting for.

Mike Gravel -- the man who ended the draft (and therefore the Vietnam War) and entered the Pentagon papers into the public record -- joined a small group of UCLA law students for dinner Friday night.

Gravel is the first candidate I've heard come out in support of the Wiener platform, my proposal to eliminate our country's stupidest policies. (I did not ask him not know how he feels about the penny). He has a plan to end the war (stop fighting it), and has both the best environmental record of any on candidate (he cosponsored much of our key environmental legislation in the 70's) and the best plan for new solutions (a carbon tax).

But Gravel is thinking even bigger than that. He wants to change the way we write laws and the way we tax ourselves. His real motivation for running is to draw attention to his National Initiative for Democracy, a popularly ratified constitutional amendment that would institute a version of California's initiative process at the national level. The plan eliminates the worst feature of California's system by making it a crime to spend any corporate dollars in campaigns. Of course, it still has some drawbacks, as Gravel admitted. For one, people are kind of stupid. However, unlike legislatures, they have no need to raise massive amounts of money and have more freedom to fix their mistakes.

Gravel has been shut out of recent Democratic debates, because he hasn't met the arbitrary and disturbing standard of needing a million dollars, clearly designed to keep him out. (This is a perverse reversal of spending limits that other jurisdictions employ). As he is unlikely to solve that particular problem if he keeps spending 2.5 hours with a handful of students, look for him next at a Dec. 10 afternoon rally outside NBC studios.

Good idea, bad idea

Good idea: Giving high school students a glimpse of local government by holding a meeting of a local government agency at the high school.

Bad idea: Holding out the Los Altos City Council as an example of how government works.

The Los Altos City Council is holding its Dec. 3 meeting at Los Altos High School to introduce students how the local government decision-making process works.

For those just joining us, the Los Altos City Council:

• once passed a law forcing day workers to stand on the other side of the street. (After several defeats in court, the city had to settle the case for $65,000).
• responded to a request by an LAHS student group to proclaim a Gay Pride Day in Los Altos by instead passing a proclamation that it would not issue proclamations about issues the mayor, who at the time happened to be a Mormon guy, found offensive. (In response, the students filed for a parade permit that the city legally had to grant, costing the city about $12,000 in police services).
• repealed a law against claw machines only to leave intact an anti-gypsy ordinance.

Another reason to hate your orthodontist

Congratulations on your retirement, UCLA orthodontics residency program chair Dr. Eric Ting.

The Daily Bruin came out swinging today against UCLA's school of orthodontics, documenting its practice of selling residency spots to the relatives of big donors. In one case, the admissions committe told one applicant he was in, only to call him back the next in an attempt to shake him down for $60,000.

The headline, "Donations influence admissions," was somewhat laughable until I remembered that I went to a public university. One professor called it a "mockery of the merit based traditions and social values that have made the University of California the best and most admired public university system in the world today."

Kudos to the Daily Bruin for a well-researched story.

UPDATE, 11/14: Our future dentists are crooked, too.

Evil 11 - Good 10 (overtime)

The Forces of Good were defeated 11-10 by Menlo-Atherton in overtime today in the quarterfinals of CCS.

Los Altos had the lead for most of the game (and looked to be the better team), but gave up a goal with 0:22 seconds left to allow M-A to tie the game and force overtime.

With 0:07 left in the second overtime period, M-A ran a successful play to free their star player, who got high out of the water to and shot unobstructed at four-meters, center cage. By sheer luck he missed the wide open shot. However, disaster was not averted. The ball ricocheted directly to his teammate who squeeked a meathook shot past the Los Altos goalie from an extreme weakside angle as time expired.

Truly tragic.

How will we get to Punta Del Este?

Buenos Aires -- Uruguay closed its border with Argentina yesterday in the latest move in an escalating diplomatic dispute between the two countries. The tensions began when Uruguay recently gave the green light to Finnish multinational Botnia to operate a paper mill on the banks of the Rio de la Plata river just across from Argentina. Argentina contends that the mill will seriously pollute the river which, according to a government lawyer I spoke with, the Argentine government is finally trying to clean up.

However, with the summer quickly approaching down here, if Uruguay closes its border, how will we all get to the chic summer resort town of Punta Del Este? And how will the Uruguayan government make up for all the lost income from tourists? Makes me think they'll open the border soon.

Pictures of the mill showed huge piles of logs ready to be made into paper. That made me think: This is the 21st century and we're still making paper out of trees? For all our technical advances and environmental consciousness, we haven't adopted any alternatives? A few years ago Canadian old-growth was being used to make phone books...

Forces of good march on

Fresh off recapturing the league championship by upsetting evil archrival Paly, the Los Altos boys water polo team easily dispatched #12 seed San Benito in the first round of Central Coast Section playoffs. Senior Connor Smith described the win as "not much of a game."

The starters were pulled after the first quarter. Final score 14-3.

Los Altos will face #4 seed Menlo-Atherton at Lynbrook High School no earlier than 10am* on Saturday.

(*The game is NOW scheduled to start at 11:20 am. Your reporter will be in attendance.)

Introducing NOE's newest correspondent

Please join me in welcoming Los Altos's greatest character writer to the team. Readers will remember Erik Koland as the man who stood up to Rickenbacker Collections, as well as his many informal contributions to the site since its inception.

After years of trying to talk his way onto the blog, Erik becomes the only contributor who actually resides in Los Altos. He will be responsible for our efforts to become Los Altos's leading news source on high school water polo, death, pestilence, and both legally and illegally downloaded video.

Time to sit back and wait for the federal clerkship offers to roll in

Member, City Council CITY OF LOS ALTOS
Completed Precincts 19 of 19
		Percent	Votes
DAVID CASAS		27.59%	4,435
RONALD D. PACKARD		26.41%	4,246
UCLAW alum MEGAN SATTERLEE		24.11%	3,876
RANDALL HULL		21.89%	3,519

My brother informs me that Towelie and I tied for last place with one vote apiece.

Los Altos election special (with special guest star, my mother)

Though this Tuesday's election will not inspire the attention that last year's did, we here at NOE still take seriously our duty to inform the public about local politics.

Four candidates are running for three open seats on the Los Altos city council.

Ron Packard: Readers no doubt expect us to jump at the opportunity to get rid of Packard, who is largely responsible for the most embarassing thing to happen in Los Altos this millenium and sometimes seems to think he's mayor of Pleasantville. Not so. Packard has a lot of experience, having also spent two terms on the Mountain View council. He has a reputation as a thoughtful and generous man, and serves on the board of the Day Worker Center. Of course, the real reason I'm voting for Packard is that I need material for this blog, and he provides it.

David Casas: Casas was somewhat of a shit-disurber on the VTA Board at a time when it sorely needed its shit disturbed. He also always returned my phone calls when I was looking for a comment or an interview. On the other hand, his kid was kind of a brat the one time I met him. That would likely be enough for my mom not to vote for him, but that was few years ago.

Randall Hull: Hull seems like a friend of bicycle commuting and renewable energy usage. However, he used to do some contract work for the Town Crier, so he's already got one foot in the grave.

Megan Satterlee: I know almost nothing about Satterlee other than that her ballot statement refers too frequently to "preserving" Los Altos. However, she's an alum of UCLA School of Law. The added prestige that my degree would carry with an alum on the Los Altos City Council is too great to pass up. Sorry Randall.

The only other thing on the ballot is Measure O, which would revise the city's phone tax to include cell phone and broadband users while lowering the rate from 3.5% to 3.2%.

Nobody has written a argument against this idea, though there is this:

Mom: "I don't know what this one is about. I'll probably vote yes. I usually vote yes on everything."

Me: "That one is a tax cut." [Yes, I know this is only partially true.]

Mom: "Okay, I'll vote no then. Why would they cut taxes?"

My mom's voting system for candidates: vote for women.
My mom's voting system for other measures: yes on everything (except tax cuts.)

Remembering Los Altos' war on Halloween

With the war on Halloween back in the news, I was reminiscing earlier tonight about the time the Los Altos School District nearly did away with the holiday 12 years ago.

Michael Radwin has, for reasons that I should not criticize, helpfully created a page of links to Mercury news articles about the struggle, from back when the Merc was a good paper. While it may surprise some of you to see religious fundamentalists once exercised influence in Los Altos, it should hardly suprise you to see the city earn scorn from throughout the nation by toying with a hilariously dumb idea.

(As an aside, shame on all of you who gave out Dots tonight.)

Team America: World Police

Apparently, the US military is now protecting foreign cargo ships carrying carcinogenic material near Africa. As if our armed services weren't already doing enough good in the world...

Oh yeah, we're also making it safe for ships from the Axis of Evil to operate off the Somali coast.

Los Altos's anti-gypsy ordinance

Article IV, Section 2 of the Constitution of the United States guarantees citizens certain "privileges and immunities." The Supreme Court has interpreted this to mean that neither states, counties nor cities can discriminate against non-residents' economic activities without a "substantial reason" for doing so.

All of this leads to the following question:

What could possibly be the substantial reason Los Altos has for limiting fortune-telling and palm-reading permits to residents of the county? (See Title 4, chapter 16). Was there a huge problem with gypsies blowing into town and ... doing what exactly?

The offending part of the law reads:

No person shall practice the business of palmistry, fortune-telling, astrology, prediction of the future, or any similar practice for a fee or any other item of value without first having obtained a permit from the city manager.

...

Any person holding a permit pursuant to this chapter shall be a citizen of the United States, of good character, over the age of twenty-one (21) year, a resident for one year last past of the county, and have a city address wherein operations will alone be lawful.

Another part of the law excludes would-be fortunetellers who have previously been convicted of trickery or deceit.

If any non-residents out there are interested in applying for such a permit and bringing a federal court challenge when the city refuses, I am your lawyer.

Beaumont West

Dancing, pool, pinball.

Los Altos Hills finally lifted its ban on the latter after 51 years. Mayor Craig Jones, who admits to having never heard of the law until resident Steve Kalem stumbled across it, puts an amazing spin job on the story.

"Los Altos Hills, like Palo Alto, is one of those towns where people pay attention," Jones said. "We have the eyes and ears to point it out."

Somehow, despite the town's general ignorance of a criminal law that had been on the books for more than five decades, this story is about the alertness of the citizenry. This is even funnier considering the fact that, according to the Los Altos Neighborhood Network, us flatlanders once had a similar law. Presumably, at some point in time, Los Altos repealed its law, but Los Altos Hills decided that it wasn't quite ready to do so.

Vigil for Lucio Casiano

An e-mail from the Day Worker Center list:

Lucio Casiano, a leader in the ministry "Youth for Christ/ Jovenes Para Cristo" from St. Athanasuis Mountain View, was detained by ICE (immigration) on Wednesday. ICE went to his home with a warrant for someone else who no longer lived there, and took him in the process. They are currently holding him in Yolo County awaiting arraignment in San Francisco on Tuesday.

Lucio is a graduate of the Diocese's ILM program and a key leader in our parish. On Monday, we are hosting an prayer vigil in response to his unjust detainment. I invite you to join us in this vigil and request that you forward this invitation to other Just Faith alumnae.

Prayer Vigil for Lucio Caciano
Monday, October 15, 2007
7:00 PM
St. Athanasius Catholic Church
160 N. Rengstorff Avenue
Mountain View, CA

Weekend fashion advice

First, Bill Maher, in Salon.com:

New Rule: Show me a man wearing an American flag pin in his lapel, and I'll show you an asshole.

Los Altan David Mott had this to add in the Mercury's sports section:

Here in Silicon Valley, a necktie is commonly considered overcompensation for a lack of talent.

Both rather good points, but it's distressing to think what they mean in combination for those of us who choose to wear stars-and-stripes bandannas.

Taco-flavored kisses

The Los Altos City Council is now 1-for-2 in deciding whether or not it's a good idea to pass municipal ordinances preventing groups of Mexicans from using public rights of way.

Los Altos didn't change its laws Tuesday to keep a taco truck from feeding high school students, but the idea appears to be gaining support from some council members.

The city is considering a change to its municipal code that would discourage mobile unit vendors from selling food to Los Altos High School students.

One possible ordinance includes limiting to 10 minutes the amount of time a food vendor could remain in one spot during a two-hour period.

This is vintage stuff. The last time Los Altos set out to pass a racist ordinance like this, it nearly banned lemonade stands. Now it is considering making ice cream trucks illegal. This calls for a protest.

By way of background, my alma mater is an open campus with parking passes cheap enough that everyone can afford to drive his or her BMW to school. Rich kids can spend their lunch hour at Jack-in-the-Box or Maldonado's or anywhere else. Strangely, only blog whipping boy Ron Packard seems to get this.

Council Member Ron Packard said he tried out the truck's offerings and bought a burrito and taco for a bargain price of about $3 or $4. Packard said he doesn't want to be unfair to students who don't have cars and can't drive to a restaurant of their choice.

Even though he's right on about this, I am having trouble picturing him hanging out by a taco truck in the back of the high school. I know that high schoolers don't vote, especially not those from other cities, but this has a sort of Dukakis-in-a-tank kind of feel to it, not to mention a George-Bush-on-a-"ranch"/Fred-Thompson-in-a-pickup-truck kind of feel).

The puppies are "safe"

Alza is dying. Its puppies are not (at least, not until some other drug company has the chance to do some testing on them).

ALZA Responds to Inaccurate and Misleading Information Regarding Dogs Housed at Its Campus

October 4, 2007

Unfortunately, inaccurate and misleading information has been circulating on the Internet about ALZA's plans for dogs housed at its campus. There is no public adoption program. The animals will be properly cared for and relocated to a different facility when ALZA closes at the end of the year. We regret this unfortunate misunderstanding and appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts with us.

Here are my thoughts:

1) How the hell did Alza manage to keep it out of the press not only that it was developing a premature ejaculation drug, but also that it was testing it on beagle puppies.

2) "Housed at its campus" is rather misleading, but "properly cared for and relocated to a different facility" sounds like something Tony Snow would say.

Month in review

Dear readers,

I have emerged from a September of ass-kissing. Here's a sampling of what we've missed in the last month:

The Sacramento Bee eliminated its poverty beat.

America became ever more unrecognizable.

The Town Crier turned 60.

Here's looking forward to an equally eventful October.

EDIT: To those who have asked to what purpose the Bee, in its wisdom, has decided to put my sister's talent, here's your answer.

A failed New World Napoleon, a.k.a. "Grey-eyed Man of Destiny"

Speaking of violence in Central America:

Few know about William Walker's imperial ambitions south of the border. However, folks in Nashville, certainly know about their hometown jack-of-all-trades (it was a lot easier to be all those things back then, but 2 out of 3 ain't bad, right NOE?) thanks to this sign that proudly proclaims the accomplishments of one of their native sons. Funny, the sign makes no mention of his crimes or pro-slavery motivations...