Journalism is the new baseball

Two weeks ago, the law firm where I am working this summer took us to Palo Alto Bowl. Shamefully, I rolled an 85 and a 90. My team averaged 107, which, while far better than my own scores, should not have been good enough for us to finish third among the 10 teams that were there.

The Palo Alto Daily News -- which is not actually located in Palo Alto, contains a regular feature dedicated to unsourced rumors, and has gotten so bad even by its own standards that its founders have started a competing paper -- pulled off a similar feat last week, winning 17 awards from the Peninsula Press Club, including one for general excellence. (I know what you're thinking, but there was not a category for Falsest Story.)

This may actually be even less impressive than our bowling prize, as more than 43 percent of entries in this contest win an award. (I have not found out how many the Daily submitted). As Michael Lewis once said about major league baseball front offices, "there really is no level of incompetence that won't be tolerated."

UPDATE, 6/16: I forgot to mention the paper's history of plagiarism.

Chorizo's probably not a great name for a boy anyway

I just got back from a Bruce Springsteen concert, which is why I don't have a better joke to make about the following Palo Alto Daily police blotter item (via photobasement). I'm not sure of the date or the details, but it seems to be making its way around the internet, and far be it from me to stand in the way. Feel free to submit your own.

Beaumont West

Dancing, pool, pinball.

Los Altos Hills finally lifted its ban on the latter after 51 years. Mayor Craig Jones, who admits to having never heard of the law until resident Steve Kalem stumbled across it, puts an amazing spin job on the story.

"Los Altos Hills, like Palo Alto, is one of those towns where people pay attention," Jones said. "We have the eyes and ears to point it out."

Somehow, despite the town's general ignorance of a criminal law that had been on the books for more than five decades, this story is about the alertness of the citizenry. This is even funnier considering the fact that, according to the Los Altos Neighborhood Network, us flatlanders once had a similar law. Presumably, at some point in time, Los Altos repealed its law, but Los Altos Hills decided that it wasn't quite ready to do so.

"Goof" vs. "fuck-up"

"Goof" -- intentionally spreading false information for purposes of a joke. Saying that the city may change its name to Mountain Dew, California, or that it is recruiting a minor league baseball team to play in McKelvey Park are both examples of goofs.

"Fuck-up" -- spreading false information while thinking it's true. Maintaining that Mountain View has made approval of Home Depot's proposal to move into San Antonio Shopping Center contingent upon the company paying the city a quarter of a million dollars to establish a permanent day worker center, or that Home Depot has given the city a quarter-million unsolicited -- that is a fuck-up.

[UPDATE 7/13: This post has been edited in response to criticism in the comments section].

Letcher syndrome

A local reporter e-mailed me about this affliction earlier today, defining it as:

"when reporters who are new to covering Mountain View quote a certain 'self-described gadfly' as a representative for mountain view residents."

It's nice to see the Mercury is finally starting to rub off on the Daily News.

MTN. VIEW PROBING ATTACK BY POLICE DOG;LAWSUIT MAY BE FILED, CITY ATTORNEY SAYS San Jose Mercury News (California) September 8, 2004 Wednesday PENINSULA/S.F. EDITION

September 8, 2004 Wednesday PENINSULA/S.F. EDITION
SECTION: LOCAL; Pg. 4B

LENGTH: 545 words

HEADLINE: MTN. VIEW PROBING ATTACK BY POLICE DOG;
LAWSUIT MAY BE FILED, CITY ATTORNEY SAYS

BYLINE: JULIE PATEL, Mercury News

...

But Don Letcher, a retired Sunnyvale public safety officer said police dogs are very well-trained.

"They would never attack without getting the order from an officer," said Letcher, who spent 20 years on the Sunnyvale force but was not a member of a canine unit. "It's like a gun. It's the user that's responsible for the actions of the dog."

...

The Menlo Park Daily News of Silicon Valley

The Palo Alto Daily News, a longtime favorite of NOE, is leaving Palo Alto.

I'll be sad to see them go. As most readers know, I've had a longstanding grudge against the Daily News ever since their slanted coverage of the 2004 Scott Roche Invitational water polo tournament. However, media diversity is generally a good thing, and the Daily's been a source of so much good material.

Unsurprisingly, I can't find a single mention of this on the Mercury Web site. Here's the Daily's announcement. Talk about burying the lead.

I was going to say something snide about covering Palo Alto without having an office there (which is actually not too uncommon with small local weeklies). Then I realized that might be slightly hypocritical considering I live in L.A. and have a blog dedicated to Mountain View and Los Altos news.