Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Acres of suspense, possibilities captivate Los Altos residents

LOS ALTOS, CA -- A group of perhaps 14 people gathered outside the Los Altos Civic Center for the unveiling of the precise number of Acres of Possibilities.

Bill Bluth, 76, openly admired the City Council's dedication to cost savings, exemplified by the decision to leave the remaining 40 percent of the 6' x 10' high-resolution printed color sign uncovered.

"They covered the most important part," he said. "We have absolutely no idea how many acres of possibilities there could be."

Onlookers offered various guesses.

"They're using an exclamation point, so I figure it's at least 10,000," said Jarvis Whitaker, 73.

A woman in her 60s, who declined to give her name, took the unveiling in a more serious fashion. "I've had a life of misery, and frankly, I can't take another disappointment in my life. As long as there are no fewer than 19 acres of possibilities, I think I'll be OK."

Many were simply happy that the unveiling was covered by Town Tube, the Los Altos Town Crier's new video endeavor.

"I'm just so thrilled that this going to be on Town Tube," said Phyllis Dreer, 78. "They really don't have much in the way of compelling content. Most of the videos are just pleas from Bruce Barton to submit videos."

Edward Landis, 82, quickly interjected, "Oh, and then there's that video of the (Los Altos) pet parade. It's like a minute long and it's all kids. I didn't even see a damn pet in it. What the fuck was that about? It makes our town look retarded."

Mayor Val Carpenter pulled back the construction paper to reveal 18 acres of possibilities.


BigDra said...

hahahaha! This post is incredible! Definitely one of the best NOE posts ever, Koland. Very well done! I saw that shit when I was in town and didn't know what the fuck it was about. There were abotu 6 seniors at the unveiling and I almost crashed the whip trying to see what it was all about. I assumed it was about developing the apricot orchards around the city hall and library. Where are the 19 acres and how are we going to waste them?

Koland said...

Thanks Drew. I'll try to cover more events like this in the future.

Sadly, there were only 18 acres of possibilities. Many of the seniors I spoke with had hoped for more.