How to make lawyers work for the public welfare:

Bribe them.

Congrats to our esteemed publisher on managing UCLA's PILF auction two weeks ago, which, sadly, had nothing to with auctioning any of these kind of PILFs. Though lacking sexually attractive Platypi, our publisher raised funds in excess of $100,000 towards grants for UCLA law students who work in summer public interest or governmental legal internships.

Some highlights:
- As our publisher attempted to win a John Wooden Autographed Pyramid of Success, the auctioneer encouraged him to increase his bids because he was, "from Los Altos," and "could afford anything." He however, ducked out when the price went beyond $800.00.
- Later, he auctioned himself and sold for $15.00 (to his Mom).
- The singer was "good looking" and "good."