I bet this made the Voice really happy

The parents of a four-year-old boy attacked by a squirrel in Cuesta Park are suing the City of Mountain View for $150,000 in medical expenses and emotional damages.

This seems likely to one day end up as one of the novelty cases that merit about one sentence in a torts casebook. If and when that happens, those of my classmates who are studying right now instead of reading the local news will have more intelligent analysis than I can offer. (I think it has something to do with sovereign immunity). In the meantime, though, let me be the first to snicker at the media circus that will surround this case if it makes it to trial.

Mission Accomplished

Major combat operations in the battle of Cuesta Park have ended. The City of Mountain View, and its allies (see right), have prevailed.

But now that last throes of the squirrel insurgency are over, the liberal local media is still trying to downplay the threat.

Just look at this week's editorial by the squirrel sympathizers in the Mountain View Voice. According to the Voice, the danger posed by Cuesta Park squirrels is "hardly in the same league" as Yosemite bears or Palo Alto mountain lions. The Voice blames the problem on the human beings and says its the work of a few bad apples. Meanwhile, unable to let any good news go unpunished, the Voice is reporting on a swarm of bees invading downtown.

This kind of reporting is demoralizing to the city recreation staff and comforting to the enemy. I think we should demand an apology.

They must have been running out of Hangar One-related puns

A week after calling for kids to exercise less, the Voice's editorial pages tackle the biggest story in the history of Mountain View.

Squirrels.

A reader sent me the link to last week's editorial with the subject line "Worst one yet?" The issue referenced squirrels in four different articles. With apologies to the good folks (and fellow malicious nerds) at Fire Joe Morgan, let's walk through the reasoning here:

"As far as we can tell, no biologists or other wildlife experts have been directly consulted."

This seems complicated. Does anybody else mind looking into this?

"Different animals follow different patterns of behavior and reproduction, and the city should educate itself in developing a humane and long-term way of alleviating the problem."

Seriously, somebody should DO something.

"Another possible option for the city is to close the portion of the park that is causing the problem."

Last time we checked, squirrels can not walk.

By doing so, perhap the squirrels could be weaned of human food, and park users would have more time to be educated about the dangers of feeding squirrels."

Q.E.D.

First, make sure not to get fatally ill.

Death and pestilence correspondent Erik Koland wrote in with this tidbit over the weekend:

The Mercury News came with a special insert today, "Your Guide to
Pandemic Flu." It was a poster-sized fold out that helps you guide your
way through the upcoming pandemic flu in which deaths could be in the
millions.

It was sponsored by the Department of Health, Santa Clara County.

So, hang on to that, I guess. Thankfully, the Merc got back to being its new self as the week progressed. For more of the news that makes Silicon Valley tick, go the Merc's Web site, where some of today's top stories include a controversy around A.C. Slater's dancing techniques and coverage on the overly aggressive squirrels in Cuesta Park. (We actually got a letter about this at the Voice many months ago expressing fear that the city would not do anything until a squirrel attacked a kid).